Everything isn’t always what it seems to be at first glance. I recently lost something very dear to me. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I feel like everything is crumbling and falling apart. I’m an avalanche of emotions. No matter how hard I try not to, I’ll feel scarred for a long time. I feel like I’m fighting against something big, all by myself.
You're special. Just wanted you to know. :)
Thanks anon. I don’t know who you are, but thanks. Show me that lovely face of yours.
I feel calm, because nothing out of the ordinary is going on. I feel worried, because I’m scared that it will always be like this. I’m worried, because I’m longing for something exciting. I’m longing for adventure. I’m longing for a thrill. I’m longing for someone to accompany me. I’m longing for something out of the ordinary to happen.
I might be standing still, but it feels like I’m about to fall. As if even the slightest breeze would tip me over, as if even the slightest sway in my emotions would make me break in half. I feel alone. It feels like I’ve been stuck here forever, without any support.
I know I’m in control of my own life, I know I’m free to do whatever I want, I know I can chase my dreams if that’s what I truly wanted, but every once in a while I want someone to help me row this boat. I want to chase my dreams, but not alone. I want someone to help me back up in the boat when I’ve fallen into the lake. I don’t want to drown in this vast sea of dreams, expectations and sorrow.
Here’s to freedom, cheers to art. Here’s to having an excellent adventure and may the stopping never start.
Sometimes being alone isn’t all that terrifying. Being alone can be beautiful and inspiring, it gives you time to think about your life. It gives you time and place to do all the things you wouldn’t do when you are with your friends. No one asks you what’s wrong when you shout at the top of your lungs for no reason. No one will ask you questions you never intended to answer truthfully. Being alone isn’t all that bad.